not easy being a Mummy!

It's really not an easy task being a Mummy! kids nowadays are so smart... they know when they should give you their stunts to agitate you and know when to show you their pitiful face or ignorant look like they really don't know about it.. *Gosh! i almost go crazy these few days... after my nagging, lectures, canning, scoldings... my Baby still lack of motivation... he used to be initiative in his schwork.. used to be alert.. used to be obedient.. but now, he will answer back to mi... will challenge mi his knowledge... will demand..no-no.. i should say request pressie for any occasion... tell mi lies to cover his wrongdoings... secretly exchange messages in sch or with his Daddy not letting mi know what he's up to... i must admit i did not spend enough time with him... but i did try my best to teach him the right things.. i know i am still harsh with my words... especially when im angry with him! honestly, i really don't mean to and i wish i can shower the same kind of lubb like how Laura to Melody and Ting to Jadon... and Mag to all her nieces and Joven... *sigh sometimes, i do need his Daddy's understanding... my tone may sound unfriendly to him but seriously i do not mean anything at all... i don't like him to misinterpret my intention and always assume that im finding fault at him! its NOT TRUE... im also tired and im very sick of quarrels.. sick of his banging and shouting... most important, i don't wish Baby to follow suit. i wish Brandon will be a calm boy who like to socialise and be open-minded.. not to be a self-centered person who easily get jealous over MeiMei Angel... i want him to learn to be generous with things and share with her... I do not know what has happened to Baby when i was not around that whole week.. i just find him slacken in his schwork.. his attitude turns terrible and he get impatient most time... especially with his Ma-Ma... i wish i can help him... maybe i should stand in his shoes and think about why he has such reactions lately... yes, i know there will be more to come and im still learning... learning how to control my temper.. learning how to give him more attention.. learning how to use my words wisely by not hurting him... i will try my best!